Taking Back Your Energy

Girl to girl, people who disrespect you, look down on you, and try to make you look small in the midst of other people are some of the trashiest people there are and they are meant to be put in their place. Learn how to claim your energy, your power, and stop letting people handle that for you when you should be the only one in charge of you.

Mistaking Kindness For Weakness

Many people assume that being easygoing, soft-spoken, or understanding means you can be walked over. I used to think ignoring disrespect was the best way to rise above it—until I realized that silence only enabled it.

There was once a girl in my space who I really thought was my friend; however, as we got closer, she slowly started to change. She was really warm behind closed doors, but once people came around, it was her cue to take shots at me—subtle at first, then bolder. I initially did nothing about it because she was naturally loud, and I didn’t want to stoop to her level by playing her game. But I soon learned I was very wrong because, guess what? Silence isn’t always golden. Sometimes, it just enables nonsense.

Witty Comebacks

You don’t need to argue or throw a tantrum. A sharp, effortless comeback will have them rethinking their choices real quick.

Try these:

“And what’s wrong with that?” (Deliver with a calm but deadly stare)
“Okay, and?”
“I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that. Be mindful.”
“Some people are very audacious, but you’re not ready for that conversation.”

What we fail to see is that most people who act like this are just projecting their own insecurities. Don’t let their mess become your problem. People can only disrespect you if you allow them to, so if they decide to have any funny ideas, you know what to do. Let them know they are damn wrong if they think they can drag your face across the floor.

Pick Your Battles

Not everything deserves your energy. If people gossip about you, let them. Talking about you makes them feel relevant. Beneath all their layers of “information,” you’ll often find someone who’s bitter about life but when someone disrespects you to your face? Address it, immediately. Letting it slide once gives them permission to do it again. You most definitely do not want that.

Confidence Without Being The Mean Girl

There’s a fine line between standing up for yourself and becoming that girl who’s always on defense. Confidence is knowing your worth, not proving it to everyone.

A few tips:

Be direct, not aggressive. A calm, firm tone is your best weapon.
Stay unbothered. They expect you to react—don’t give them the satisfaction.
Make your boundaries clear. People won’t know they’re crossing the line unless you tell them.
Keep your hands to yourself, baby girl. You don’t want to be out here fighting and end up being known as ‘Thugarella.’ Not the move.

Let Them Know

I, for one, started standing up for myself anytime that girl had something to say about me in public—or even in private—and she stopped.

Simple comebacks like:

“Okay, and?”
“And you think you could?”
“Girl, don’t get me started about your stories.”

Simple. You don’t want to stretch it out; these shut things down real quick.

If the mean people happen to be people you genuinely cherish, simply pull them aside and let them know you do not appreciate being talked to or talked about that way. Confront people and be candid about your feelings. People aren’t genies, so just like I mentioned earlier, let your boundaries be as clear as day; they won’t know they are crossing the line until you tell them.

Own Your Presence

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to engage in every little drama—it means knowing when to check people and when to walk away. If someone disrespects you, let them know. If they keep trying it, remove yourself from their reach. You are not their playground.

Have you ever had to put someone in their place? Share your experience in the comments!

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