I learned about love languages pretty early—though not in a way you’d expect. I’ve always been the kind of person who gives freely. Picking up the bill, buying thoughtful gifts, sending money when someone’s in a tight spot—it felt like second nature.

One day, a teacher’s assistant looked at me and said, ‘Your love language must be gift giving.’ I didn’t even know what she meant at the time. But when I looked it up? Everything suddenly made sense.

Turns out, my dominant love languages are gift receiving and acts of service—and yes, I’d rank quality time right after that. And while I don’t get gifts often, when I do, it’s not about the price—it’s about the thought. The meaning. The ‘I saw this and thought of you.’ That’s what moves me.

In this blog post, we’re breaking down all five love languages, how they show up in real life (not just romance), and how to use them intentionally. There’s also a link to an official quiz so you can find yours too.

Ready to feel seen? Let’s dive in.

The 5 Love Languages (and What They Really Mean)

1. Receiving Gifts

Love, in physical form.

This love language isn’t about materialism—it’s about meaning. The gift could be a bouquet or a candy bar. What matters is the thought behind it.

A little magic from my world:*I once misplaced one of my earbuds and cried about it. My situation? Got me a new pair. Another time, I got a pair of cute purple slippers—not because I asked—but because they looked good with my pedicure. It’s the ‘I noticed you’ for me.

Gifts speak when words fall short.

2. Acts of Service

‘I’ve got you’ in action.

If you’re someone who feels loved when others ease your load or show up when you need them most—this one hits home.

One of my most heart-holding moments: After a knee injury, a friend I wasn’t even that close to began cooking for me, grocery shopping, taking me to the hospital, even crossing the road with me. She didn’t have to—but she did. That pure energy? That made me cry many nights. That’s love.

3. Quality Time

Undivided attention. Presence. Connection.

It’s not just being together—it’s being present. Whether it’s a deep convo or just sitting in silence, what matters is knowing someone chose to be with you in that moment.

A soft memory: Last year, on a birthday I wasn’t looking forward to, that same friend dragged me to the park, brought Oreo ice cream, and gave me the girl talk I didn’t know I needed. Just her being there flipped my entire day around.

4. Physical Touch

Closeness in contact.

Hugs, kisses, playful nudges, or holding hands—some people feel safest and most loved when affection is tangible.

For me, though? Physical touch ranks lowest. I like it to some extent—but I also need space. Knowing this helped me understand why I’d feel so disconnected when guys only showed love through touch and nothing else. That’s why love languages matter—so we don’t miss each other while thinking we’re doing our best.

5. Words of Affirmation

Say it with sincerity.

This one is for the hearts that hold onto every word. Whether it’s a sweet text, a deep compliment, or gentle reassurance during hard days, words matter.

Even if it’s not your primary love language, receiving real, intentional affirmations during job interviews, self-doubt spirals, or new life chapters? That’s healing.

How to Use Your Love Language (and Theirs) in Real Life

Knowing your love language is sweet. But using it? That’s where the real magic begins. Whether you’re in a relationship, dating, building friendships, or just vibing solo—love languages help you give and receive love more meaningfully.

Start With You

If no one bought you flowers lately… buy them yourself.

Learning your own love language allows you to love yourself better. Gift yourself that journal. Speak affirmations to your reflection. Cook for yourself like someone who deserves a 5-star experience. The love you show yourself sets the bar for how others love you.

I’ve always been someone who gives a lot—to a fault. I used to get exploited emotionally and financially because giving felt like second nature. But learning my own love languages helped me draw boundaries. Now? I only match energy with those who give back with the same softness and intention.

Now Extend It To Others

Here’s the thing: you can’t just love someone how you want to be loved. You have to love them how they need to be loved.

Example? I’m not a physical touch girlie like that. But if a guy I’m seeing is, I’ll meet him there—hugs, touches, affection—within my comfort. That’s what it means to learn your person. But if I go out of my way for someone, and they don’t meet me halfway? That’s not love. That’s a one-way street, and I don’t live there anymore. (*Silent ‘PERIOD‘*)

And if They Don’t Try to Understand You?

Let’s say you’ve told them your love language. You’ve expressed your needs clearly. And they still meet you with the bare minimum?

Then walk away. Love should not feel like begging.

One guy I used to talk to would only get me things when he wanted something. There were no ‘just because’ gifts—only ‘because I need you to do this’ ones. It felt transactional, not intentional. And I refuse to shrink myself for the illusion of love.

Your love language isn’t asking too much—it’s asking for alignment. And you deserve that.

The Takeaway: Know Your Worth, Love Yourself, and Set Your Standards

Love isn’t meant to be a guessing game. When you understand your love language, you get the clarity to decide who *deserves* your energy and love. It’s a shield of protection from the bare minimum.

If someone truly loves you, they’ll see you—hear you—and meet you where you are. You shouldn’t have to fight for the barest form of love, and you certainly shouldn’t feel like you’re overgiving while receiving crumbs in return.

But also, don’t forget: it takes two to tango. Love is not just about receiving—it’s about giving. Be the person who matches energy, who loves intentionally. If you can’t do that? Then you risk losing someone great who loved you better than you loved them.

And if, after all of this, they still can’t meet you at your level? Then, babe, leave. Walk away. You’ll meet someone who will go to Andromeda and back for you—and you deserve nothing less.

Love is an exchange. Not a transaction.

💕 Get the Freebie + Join the Self-Love Movement

If this blog hit home, don’t stop here.
Sign up for my self-love journal waitlist and get my calming Texting Anxiety Freebie sent straight to your inbox — because love starts with feeling secure, even in your texts.

✨ Join the waitlist here to:
🌸 Get early access to 100 Days of Loving Yourself
💌 Download the free Texting Anxiety Toolkit
🧠 Start showing up for yourself in love and life

You deserve softness, clarity, and people who love you the right way — including you.