
There’s something no one tells you when they say “don’t lose yourself in love”
What if you already did?
What if you woke up one day and couldn’t recognize who you were anymore?
All because you were too busy trying to be someone else’s peace while yours was burning?
Let me tell you something I’ve had to learn the hard way:
It’s okay to lose yourself.
It happens. It’s human. And sometimes, it’s how we learn just how much of ourselves we’ve been giving away.
But here’s the thing;
Life doesn’t stop until you get back on your feet.
People don’t pause for your healing.
Peace isn’t passive; It’s a boundary.
It’s up to you to rise.
And when you do? When you finally choose you again? When you decide to protect your peace? That’s when everything shifts.
It took losing myself to realize I was living in someone else’s story—and it was time to start writing my own.
Boundaries Are Love in Action
I don’t show it much, but when I care about someone, I care deeply. I give. I invest.
And when that energy isn’t respected, it hurts—deeply.
But now, I’ve made myself a promise:
If someone crosses a boundary, I step back.
Even if it hurts me.
Even if it makes me feel like I’ll never be properly loved.
Because the truth is, you can’t keep handing out chances to people who don’t value what you offer.
If you lose yourself a second time, that’s on you.
That’s the harsh reality. But it’s also the kind of honesty that sets you free.
Self-Love Isn’t Always Soft
Sometimes self-love isn’t bubble baths or journaling.
Sometimes it’s sitting with the urge to stay and walking away anyway.
It’s telling yourself:
“If you go back, you are choosing someone who will cross those boundaries again.
You are choosing to be emotionally drained.
If you lose yourself again, it’s no one’s fault but yours.”
That voice might sound harsh, but it’s protective. It’s powerful.
It’s your soul fighting for its space back.
To the One Who Feels Guilty for Leaving
Sh*t happens.
You cared about them. You were close. Maybe they meant the world to you.
But they didn’t protect your peace. And people won’t—they can’t—protect it for you.
So if that means pulling back?
Do it.
It’ll hurt. You’ll cry. You’ll question if you made the right choice.
But once you’ve processed it all… once you’ve grown through it…
You’ll understand exactly why you had to walk away.
It’s okay to say hi now and then.
But don’t hand them another VIP pass into your life.
Don’t just protect your peace—honor it. Write the story where you choose you, every time.
Final Thought
You are not a bad person for wanting peace.
You are not “too much” for needing space.
And you’re definitely not wrong for choosing yourself.
If you’ve lost yourself before, I see you. I’ve been you.
But here’s the good news:
You can always, always come back home to yourself.
Read this again when you’re done begging to be understood.
Because, truth be told, the only person who needs to understand your choices is you.
You’re not a bad person for wanting peace over people. 🌸
✨ If this resonated with you, you might want to read part two: Losing Yourself: When You Become a Stranger in Your Own Life
🌸 Join the Waitlist for “100 Days of Loving Yourself” 🌸
Ready to reflect, heal, and fall in love with the person you are becoming? My upcoming journal will guide you through 100 days of self-discovery and self-love. Sign up for the waitlist now!
Also, if you’re craving more reflections on choosing yourself, check out Choose Yourself, I Wish You Roses: The Pain of Letting People Go and and How to Let Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Value You Or See Your Worth to keep the momentum going. ✨
your peace of mind always has to come first before anything and everyone! you matter! you’ve said it all!