Do you think or feel like there’s something missing in your life, but don’t know exactly what is or what to do about it? Do you feel like there is a never closing void in your chest, but can’t pinpoint the cause?
You could learn how to romanticize your life. No, I am not saying be ‘that girl’ or the ‘it girl’ everyone seemingly wants to be. If you want to watch a 13 minute 24 second video on YouTube titled ‘MY THAT GIRL ROUTINE’ that’s genuinely up to you (no shade). We all need some inspiration one way or the other once in a while but what about being your OWN girl? Your own IT girl? Below are 5 steps to help you be the person you want to be.
1. APPLAUD YOURSELF
Buy yourself a congratulatory gift. That watch or those shoes you have been looking at for months, buy it. Do not wait for anyone to congratulate you in order to feel fulfilled. No. If you keep waiting for people’s approval to be happy for your own self, I hate to break this to you, but you will NEVER be happy and that is the truth of the matter because people are not always going to be there for you. They are not going to show up for you every single time because even they have problems they need to solve.
Are you telling me just because your friend is sad, you won’t be happy for yourself? You matter more. It’s you first before anyone else or else how are you going to be there for others when you can’t even be there for yourself? Relish in your accomplishments and give yourself the benefit of the doubt because YOU DID THAT, boo.
2. SOAK IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS
Low on cash? That’s fine. I’ll tell you what you do have, hobbies and a lot of free activities out there. There are 101 and more things that you could do for absolutely $Free.99. All you’ll probably have to do is pay for the bus or metro pass. Don’t have enough money for a vacation? Create your own budget friendly vacation. Plan solo museum dates, go window shopping, go to the beach, gallery dates, attend cheap underground concerts if you are that type of person. Learn a new hobby if you must. Fashion girlie? Wear that cute outfit, buy that magazine and a smoothie, a cup of coffee or some ice cream, in a serene area and read the hell out of it. Even you need a break from the hustle and bustle of daily life. You do not need to carry that into your off days or DIY vacation days. We always want to fly out for vacations but the truth is we do not even know the vacation-worthy places in our neighbourhoods or in the surrounding ones. Do not let society tell you where you can and can’t have your vacation.
Create that mood board; Pinterest, Canva and even cutouts, do them all. You like art but don’t know the first thing about painting or how to use a brush? YouTube Academy for Amateurs. Everything is free these days and so is nature therapy. Take a stroll in the park at whatever time you want, boo. If you can’t sleep and you feel stuffy, go to the park whenever you want (only if your country or region is safe for that, if not, do not put your safety and life at risk. You are important to us). If you’re an indoor person or you don’t like to go out often, make your home that one place where you can release stress. Buy sweet smelling candles and invest in aromatherapy. Get yourself out of the house go to a place that makes you feel safe and sets your mind at ease. Why do you think you feel so suffocated and uneasy when it’s blocking your energy flow and happiness?
Art slump? Music slump? Reading slump? Writer’s block?
Get some inspo OUTSIDE the house! And don’t forget to whip out that Spotify or Apple Music playlist.
3. KNOW YOUR WORTH
This is not the ‘know your worth’ that talks about gender roles. No. This is the ‘Baby Girl Factor’ and I cannot stress this particular point enough. I am not about to sit behind my computer and say don’t cry over a man or don’t reduce your standards or talk about what your relationship finances should look like or better still gender roles in your relationship. Going 50-50 or him paying your everything is once again, none of my business, it’s yours. Do what makes you happy.
What I will sit here and say, however, is that even though we all need or crave for love, you do not need a man to make you happy.
I said it. Soak it. Breathe in and out…. You don’t,
Like I mentioned in previous points, take yourself out, buy yourself beautiful looking and good smelling flowers once in a while. That nice restaurant that just opened up around the corner? Wear that cute fit you have been eyeing for the longest time and go. The food will not taste itself and the dress won’t wear itself either. If your partner is in a rotten mood, will you sacrifice your happiness to soothe their anger or pride? No. We need to be humble and understanding but there is always a limit. He doesn’t buy you gifts? Do it yourself. He does not compliment you on your looks, the makeup that took you two hours and your hair? Do it yourself.
And if that relationship is weighing you down, you just might have to reconsider those decisions.
Do whatever makes you feel happy because society has a lot to say until you are suicidal and have no energy to strive. So go get that BBL, the botox, those lip fillers and live your best life without caring about what others have to say. THAT is therapy on its own.
4. SELF-MAINTENANCE, REPEAT
Whoever said ‘Do not look like what you are going through’ needs an award. Whatever your troubles are, people should not suspect it from the way your hair looks. You got fired? A rejected application? Going through a breakup? We sympathize with you, at least I do because I know firsthand what that feels like; getting let go from a job you had worked so hard to get and maintain, putting your last hope on that one last application after getting rejected 52 times and still getting rejected for the 53rd time or watching the man you love look at another woman the way he used to look at you. I know how all that feels like and that is how I can tell you what I can today.
Looking good makes you feel good and that is what is most important. Go to the salon, get your hair done, get some mannies and peddies because those nails aren’t going to take care of themselves and neither will those split ends, my love
AFTER all this, you repeat whatever made you crash in the first place, whatever robbed you of your happiness, even if it was temporary. Apply for that job again, create new content for your social media, take that referral exam again. This does not mean failure, it is a chance to get up and try again over and over until you make it. You are not a failure so stop acting like it. After all, how are you going to look for a job looking like a mess? No shade once again. How are you going to get that brand deal or gifted collab if you do not fit the criteria?
5. EXORCISE THE BAD ENERGY
Unlike how intense the word ‘exorcise’ sounds, all I need you to do is find a way to purge or get rid of all the pent up frustrations and stress you face on a daily and no, don’t go hitting anyone, Ms. Girl, you’re better than that. We wouldn’t like an ugly entry on our rap sheets. What you can, however, is to find a soothing activity.
If the gym is your calling, go to the gym. If you like to do yoga or pilates, you should. Play that sport. Sign up for that spin class to save yourself the mental stress. There are some exercise-free activities as well, like journaling, meditation and reciting affirmations, as your journal should be your best friend. They involve low energy input and it’s also $Free.99.
Do not wait for anyone to make you happy. Your happiness should be in your own hands. Shine your light and spread your positive energy everywhere you go with your bright smiles. Don’t go out drinking with the circle just to go back home to the sad life or revert back to the sad girl aesthetic. You are worth all the hype because you’re the REAL DEAL.
I am no guru, Just a girl trying to find her happiness, too.
I look forward to these everytime 💕